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Chastity – An important key to a female-led relationship

Chastity – An important key to a female-led relationship

It is a common place observation that men tend to be sexually wanton. Left to their own devices men will opt for multiple partners, spreading their “seed” as widely as possible. Sex is quick, often brutal, and focused on a single goal – ejaculation. Ejaculation leaves men depleted and often out of sorts. They lose their focus on their partner or the image that prompted their masturbatory fantasy. The biological and emotional signals seem to be for the male to leave after ejaculation and begin searching for his next sex partner. No wonder women are so often dissatisfied with their male partners…

Female-led relationships require the male to overcome this biological predisposition and the cultural conditioning that reinforces it. Female-led relationships require the male to find ultimate pleasure in his partner’s pleasure, rather than subordinating her pleasure to his own. This reorientation is a profound challenge for a male, one that no doubt accounts for the low (but growing) percentage of female-led relationships.

A program of chastity is the best way for men to reorient themselves so they are suitable for a female-led relationship. By chastity I mean that the male in a relationship does not have an orgasm unless it is in the presence and/or with the permission of his partner.

Some women and their partners prefer that the man maintain chastity through self-discipline. Others prefer the idea of using a chastity belt to enforce their chastity. There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Many speak of their chastity as being a gift of their sex and their sexual energy to their female superior and the superior sex of which she is a part.

For a man who is used to unrestricted masturbation, chastity is a profound challenge. Yet, chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something.

Resolve to restrict his orgasms to situations where he has first given you ample pleasure in some way, be it sexual or otherwise. If his need to masturbate is simply too overwhelming, as is often the case, encourage/command him to practice masturbating to the edge of orgasm and then stop.

In some female-led relationships the male may even be asked to occasionally provide sexual service with his penis while foregoing his own orgasm, a profound mental and physical challenge. Other female-led relationships will be oriented so the chastised male will more often than not provide sexual service in every way except by using his penis. Ultimately, it is for you to decide how best to weave chastity into your relationship. What is important to understand, however, is that chastity is one great way to keep your submissive man feeling and expressing his submissiveness to you.

 

21 Comments

  1. Chastity was the turning point of my relationship with my sub. We have had so much fun playing with chastity, it’s brought us closer.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Also I would encourage our readers to read http://wedlocked-femdom.blogspot.com.au/2014/02/i-discovered-chastity-belts.html where Kara explains the real life experience, which is more related to this post.

    • Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad my post talk directly to many of your relationships. I hope these real life stories will encourage most of our readers to experience kink in their relationships.

    • Anyone have an idea how to put a chastity device on a person who has and “innie” Penis? Once the shaft retreats to the inside there is nothing to hold the device on and therefore it falls off. We are using a CB 6000 device.Thank you in advance for the help. Mistress and I have tried just about everything to make this work and have not come up with anything that works.

  2. Yes, YOU are right, i am in a Wife Led Marriage and the chastity cage and keeping my cravings locked has also made me much more submissive and the longer i am caged the more i crave to be in servitude in the SUPERIOR FEMALE

    • Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Yes, a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. We would love to hear more success stories of Female Led Relationships.

  3. Well written, with great clarity and insight. You put it so well. Your views resemble Mine exactly, and in fact it is what I have put in place with My man. But with a device… without it he would cheat…. So, stricter discipline and control was essential.
    he has become more submissive and loving as a result. In addition, he finds more much pleasure now in serving Me in a myriad ways, as you out it so well. he loves dressing Me now….!

    • Than you so much for the appreciation and sharing your experience. I’m glad my article talk to you. Chastity is the best way to remind that you are in control. I’m glad to hear that it works well for you.
      We always have space in our website if you like to share your real life experience as a story.

  4. Thank you for that beautifully written and heartfelt piece with which I agree entirely. Thank you also to the correspondents who have shared their experience. It is inspiring to read such testimonies from Women and men in Female led relationships. One of the beauties of male chastity lies in the way that the man’s sexual energy is harnessed by the Lady, and redirected into things that please and benefit Her.

  5. slave believes in total female superiority.

  6. To each their own, but I don’t subscribe to chastity techniques or orgasm denial, etc. I feel it is more important for men to be strong and passionate, and they should worship fully (mind and body at all times) PLUS they should be 100% healthy. I don’t believe that repressive techniques (including imprisonment) are healthy for them at all. But it depends on taste, of course! Also, I have noticed many slaves crave to be imprisoned or chastised, etc. To that I say: Just because a man wants it, doesn’t mean he gets it. Anyway, not trying to start an argument, just sharing my experience as a modern Goddess (not a Mistress per se)

    • this is true Mistress Ginette,but it is most of the time in Mistress’ best interest.

      • Do not assume you can speak for what is any Woman’s best interest, man

  7. Slave who craves the cage. I currently own 3 chastity devices pink cb2000, black cb3000 and clear cb6000s Pick which one of your choosing? I need to locked please let me know which one you enjoy?

  8. my name is john cano,aka slave 613-613-212.
    slave is tightly locked in a steel cage for Mistress Kim Ford.
    slave is totally owned and fully controlled.
    slaves only purpose is to serve and obey without question.

  9. Interesting approach to chastity fun. My name is Vince Stead and I just got done checking out your site and really liked it. We make dominant wife books in Paperback, Digital and Audio too. You can see them at Fun2ReadBooks and the audio books are very fun to listen to. Thank you very much and I really enjoyed visiting your site!

  10. Women love a dominant role in most relationships. Ask any man and they will tell you, if they’re being honest, who really wears the pants in the family. And we’ve all heard the saying “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” And we all know that keeping a man in a constant state of arousal, via chastity or tease and denial, is the perfect way for a woman to keep her man wrapped around her finger. He will do just about ANYTHING for jus the remote chance of getting some kind of sexual attention from his wife or girlfriend.
    As I mentioned in another thread, my wife uses chastity and/or feminine under-things to keep me in a constant state of arousal, making me constantly think of her all day and coming up with new ways to make her happy. Her co-workers keep asking her if she could clone me, since I always send her flowers, deliver her lunch, press her clothes each morning, and treat her and her friends to happy hour on a regular basis. The fact that I know she controls me, and could publicly humiliate me at a moments notice, is a huge adrenaline rush, which makes me try even harder to impress her and her friends. (and the fact that I might be wearing a garter belt and stockings and/or a CB 6000, makes it even more exciting) I’m whipped and I love it.

    But, most of all, she does too. And that what a wife led marriage (femdom/chastity/, etc.) is all about: not you, but her. Serve your wife, make her happy, and she will continue to reciprocate as long as she is getting positive feedback from her chaste husband. Don’t nag her, don’t sub from the bottom- just be a good boy and do the things that make her happy. That is your role as a subordinate husband; accept it and serve your goddess 24/7 !!

  11. As a man, I can assure that men cannot maintain chastity through self discipline. Only through the use of a chastity device.

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